Mother's Day

Mother's Day was extra special this year because I got to talk to my son Austin on the phone, who is serving an LDS mission in New Zealand.

I find myself replaying the conversation over and over in my mind. I find it incredible how as a parent we are able to know the needs of our children, sometimes in ways we don't even fully understand. This last week I had a remarkable spiritual discovery that, in and of itself, was really quite simple. But as I look at it now, I recognize it is quite remarkable because as I was able to share what I learned with my son, I found that it was what he was searching for and I feel that my spiritual discovery was really a part of an answer to my son's searching and I was just fortunate to be a part of the process.

This last week I found myself really focusing on how Christ reacted to people who were choosing to act against his teachings. This all was motivated by a post on a discussion group that I had responded to and I was a little nervous if I had responded appropriately to the delicate topic. One day while I was gardening, I began to think of how Christ handled the situations; like when the scribes and the Pharisees brought the woman who "was taken in adultery" unto him wishing to stone her. It was interesting as this situation played out in my mind that I realized that Christ did not condemn, ridicule, or even really demean any of the individuals involved. Instead he simply stated,
“He that is without sin among you, let him first cast a stone at her."
We know the outcome of this story. The men were "convicted by their own consciences" realized that they too were sinful people, and that they had no right to judge let alone stone her and each of them went away leaving Jesus alone with the woman. Then Jesus asked
"Woman where are those thine accusers? Hath no man condemned thee?
She said "No man Lord"
and he replied, "Neither do I condemn thee, now go and sin no more."
Most of the time I have focused on the compassion he showed the woman, but this was the first time that I noticed that he also showed great compassion even for those that were showing great insensitivity towards her, the accusers. What I found interesting was that he did not convince them of how they needed to act, he did not even directly tell them, or give some great lecture on how they needed to treat others, he actually allowed them to discover it through their own conscience. I started thinking about how I could apply these principles to my parenting and recognized the stark contrast of many of my parenting experiences. I also have been studying a section in the Book of Mormon in 1st Nephi how Lehi approaches his children after he had his vision and at the end of chapter 8. This is where he talks about the tenderness in which he taught them and then how he prophesied and then he spoke no more. I believe this is when he left it to their consciences and the spirit, for each individual to choose for themselves what to do with the information they had been given. I recognized that he taught with great love and great tenderness, much like the Saviour himself. Once again, not with condemnation. I kept reflecting on my parenting style and continued to think about how I could apply these principles to parenting and then I found myself thinking about how ideal these same principles would be for missionary work.

What amazed me was how all week I kept focusing on these principles and then, as my son began to share with me some of the challenges he is facing in his present area, I knew why I had been thinking so much about these things and knew that I needed to share with him what I had been thinking about over the past week.
When I did, my son became overcome with great emotion, he thanked me and said,
"Mom, you just don't know how much what you have shared has helped me. I am going to really focus my personal study time on the process of Christs Teaching. I realize that I am too eager to just change people, instead of having that tenderness towards them and I never really thought about how Christ taught through discovery. I know too many times I just want to change what people are doing and think I can just convince them with my words. "
He had also shared a wonderful experience earlier in our conversation and as we continued our discussion, we realized it illustrates this point perfectly.

He and his companion decided to stop and visit with a family that they had been working with. The wife has been a member of the church in the past but is facing some unique challenges at this time, and the husband is not a member. He has been polite when the missionaries come over, but made it very clear that he was not in any way interested in anything pertaining to the missionary visits. They were in the middle of discussing how things were going with the wife when the husband walked into the room and asked,
"Why is it that Mormons marry Mormons?"
My son began to explain all of the logical reasons for members marrying members. The husband just sort of looked blankly as my son continued to explain himself. Then my sons companion stopped him and said,
"Wait a minute I have something to show you. Elder Smith, you stand over there and I will stand over here."
He is limited in his English and at first my son was thinking uh oh what is he up to. He then said,
"You two stand in the middle and when I ask a question, if the answer is yes stand by Elder Smith. That represents good. And if the answer is no stand by me. That represents bad."
He then asked several questions: Did you read your scriptures this week? Did you say your prayers this week? Did you go to church this week? With each question the couple separated and before the next question was asked, they rejoined in the middle. Without any further explanation the husband said,
"Stop, I don't want to be over here. I want to be over there with my wife. I
don't want my family to be divided."
There was no additional explanation needed. This was learning by discovery. Before they left, they were able to get to know more about him. They also learned that he had been taught the missionary discussions years ago before he was even married, by a senior couple. He had felt the spirit leave when they were transferred and hadn't felt it since. He expressed how much he wanted to have the gospel in his life and to share it as a family, and that he wanted them to return the next day to teach them all. They have been back 3 times this week and are continuing to teach this family. Oh, I am thankful for his wonderful companion and how he was able to teach this principle. I wonder if he had seen this done before or if he was simply prompted by the spirit.

It was wonderful to talk to my son, wonderful to hear how he has grown. It amazes me to hear the growth he has encountered in just 7 months. It was tough saying goodbye knowing I wouldn't talk to him again until Christmas. As I did I just simply said,
" Make the most of this time and it will make the most of you."
I sincerely hope that he does. I know without a doubt that the Lord can do more with any of us than we can do on our own, if only we allow him the opportunity to guide us in that process. I truly felt guided this week and am grateful that even thousands of miles away I could still be given an opportunity to help my son.

Grateful on Sunset Blvd.

I just recently returned home from an amazing week in Southern California. My oldest daughter Stephanie is a singer songwriter and she and my youngest daughter Lacey, were performing at the House of Blues on Sunset Boulevard. Nokia had sponsored the event and we were put up in a beautiful Best Western Hotel on Sunset. It looked like a French Villa on the inside. The pool area was covered with fragrant Bougainvilleas. We even had our own veranda that was covered with the aromatic flowers. It was just incredible.

My daughter Heather and I drove out at the beginning of the week with Stephanie and were the nannies to my darling little granddaughter Autumn. She is only 4 1/2 months old and already has so much personality. She has truly captured our heart.

Stephanie attended some workshops and we simply played with the baby, did a little shopping, and just enjoyed our time together. On Tuesday morning my Mother flew in from Hawaii to join in the party. My sister Lindy recently started working for an airline so my Mom has a new found freedom of free flights. I love seeing her assert some independence. I hope I can talk one of my kids into working for an airline so that I can do the same!

My youngest daughter Lacey and Stephanie's friend Debra flew in Wednesday morning. Now we had 7 of us using the hotel room as the hub for our activities for the day. It was wonderful being surrounded by my favorite people! That said the room was a little crowded and a little messy and as Stephanie returned from her final workshop she brought back with her our dear friend and Nokia exec. Steven Stewart. When I first went to the door and saw him there, I thought, "Um, can I show you how nice the pool deck is?"
But then realizing he had to have past it to get to my room that would have made no sense, so we just invited him in, and said,
"Welcome!"
I am hoping that he doesn't come from an immaculate home, or that his opinion of others isn't solely based on how tidy their hotel room is kept because, let's just say the beds were not made and there were several items of clothing (nothing personal thank heavens) on display. Let me first say that he is an amazing person to begin with and that he has already done so much to support my daughter's music. That in and of itself makes him one of my favorite people of all time, but then once I got to know him, well, to know him, is to literally love him! He is amazing! And then to top it off, he gave Stephanie and I one of the most amazing phones on the face of the planet! I will be using this phone often to update this blog! He listened to some of Stephanie's new music and discussed with Stephanie and Debra how the show was going to go. Debra played a couple of songs for him as well. It was cool to watch him video tape their performances. He says he is a major fan. I am even more impressed after hearing some of the songs he has written, as well as the songs he has written and performed himself. He too is an amazing talent. Then we did what any level headed person would do at 7:30 in Hollywood. We went to PINKBERRY and had a yogurt with fresh fruit. The girls stayed back at the hotel to get ready for the show, but Steven, Heather, my mom and I took off for the Pink pleasure place on Sunset Blvd. Pinkberry is my latest addiction! mmmm. What I would give for one right now. This was Steven's first time, he too was very impressed.

Finally the time for the big performance had arrived. It seems we had waited for months for this night. Everyone was calm. I had charge of the baby and I hadn't yet figured out how I was going to see the performance and take care of her needs, but it all worked out perfectly. Everyone went to the club early and I arrived just before the show. I went through the back stairs and between showcases I just took the baby who was fast asleep in her car seat into the side patio where the instruments were stored. It was a beautiful night and we were right next to the action, but clear enough from it where I felt she was safe. She actually stayed asleep during the entire performance. The performance was amazing. I loved when Stephanie let the crowd know that her cellist was only 15. Debra was flawless on percussion like usual. Oh, to have such talent! It was neat to look out and see the pleasure on everyone's faces as they played. Occasionally, you would see one of them look over their shoulder in disgust to the people at the back of the room that were being a little loud as they enjoyed their vast array of alcoholic beverages.

I was really surprised to see our good friend Rick Clark in the audience. My mom and Dad were both there. My Dad had driven down from Northern California that afternoon to catch the show. Several Myspace friends were there. Our good friends Secily and Amanda, and all of the sudden it seemed like a room filled with familiar faces. I was able to go out and enjoy the last few songs and Lacey took over the Baby duties after her cello playing was finished for the night. Then just as quickly as the show began the big event was all at once over.

We met up with a few friends at a little pizza parlor where we talked until 2:00 am. Heather and Lacey took the baby back to the room. I felt my eyelids begin to melt together as I listened to Rick talk about the changes in his life. Not because I was in any way disinterested, but all of the sudden the early mornings of getting up to pick people up from the airport started to catch up with me. I realized that between Monday and Tuesday night collectively I had only gotten about 9 hours of sleep. We got an unexpected phone call with a strange announcement that the baby had weird spots on her feet after having her toenails painted. After considering all of the viable causes I realized they were probably just from having her feet held firmly while her microscopic sized toe nails were being painted. She was happy and we were all sure she would be fine. We encouraged them to call us if anything changed, but all was well. Shortly after we said our good nights and arranged to meet for Lunch on Thursday. Rick always has amazing taste in restaurants and eating out with him has always been a grand experience. Something to look forward to.

We returned to the room where we faced only 1 challenge. There were 5 adults, and only 2 beds. I opted to take the floor on account that I was tired enough to sleep anywhere. I put on my PJs, grabbed my headphones and new cell phone, and headed to the floor where I could begin to get acquainted with my new Nokia N82. I thought to myself as I turned on the first song and began to sink into my pillow, "This, my dear phone, is going to be the beginning of a beautiful relationship." With that I began to think of everything that transpired that day and all that I had to be grateful for. Not just an incredible new phone, but even greater, new friends, old friends, family, my mom and dad that had sacrificed so much to be there, my wonderful daughters that did so much to support each other, a beautiful granddaughter with carefully painted toenails and beautifully spotless feet (yes all spots had faded). The long awaited performance was a success, everyone traveled there safely, Lacey performed so beautifully and so professionally, especially for being so young. It didn't even matter that it was now almost 3 in the morning and I was on the floor of the hotel. I literally felt like I was on the top of the world! So blessed, and so grateful.